getting better/getting fatter

Ah well now. I just got a Blackberry (yip, behind the times) and guess who was my second add (requested by him au'natural) him, yes, him. Guess who was first? A girl who, i think, likes him as much as i do (well, that must be an exaggeration, shameful) and likes to tell me how much they have in common. God. I just want to kiss him (and screw his brains out) and kiss him, and kiss him, and kiss him forever. Ah the idiocy of an idealist.

I ate a fuckload today (really really need to get that under control), but still: 66 (how? there must be a God. that likes me. oh wait that is totally inconceivable ;) )

breakfast: four slices of tomatoe, fried with two eggs and cheese (omg), on bread (wtf) with tomatoe sauce
... i had a baby-bender last night okay: drank champagne with a friend, did a line of coke (want more!), had some whiskey, smoked some weed... egh... I want to blame that for the breakfast
+ 2 cups cafeteria coffee
lunch: pasta (omgomgomg) with sundried tomatoes, baby marrows and chilli.... and chocalate ice cream (wtf!!!)
supper: salad (with mayo - omg - avocado - omg - cheese - omg...... errrrggghh) and about a million almonds *purgepurgepurge*

exactly. exactly. wtf is this shit. must be below 65. must. must must. can no longer eat like fat 'tard idiot. fuck stop fucking up

... think i got lulled into weird jubilant state cos i tried on my friends jeans (she gave them to me yah! the are so nice!) and they are: a size 10! omg I've dropped 2/3 pants sizes! shit! love it! must get smaller muuuuuusssssssttttt. must. i want him. i must do this. cannot. under any circumstances eat this badly again!!!

just fucking pull yourself towards yourself woman!