good then bad but

so yesterday was pretty good
kept eating the tomatoes
the pesto
with the olive oil
and the balsamic
had bowl of pasta
with the last of the pesto
had a glass of merlot
another glass of red
single vodka, diet coke
hungry as fuck
the others were getting chicken wings
fatter than me
you're fatter than me
thank god
thaaaaannnk goooood
last of the tomatoes
bites if housemate's pasta
alright though
woke up
an orange
black coffee
pan au chocolat
well that was dumb
left over pasta
stupid
didn't have to say yes
an avocado
it tasted right
so many soaked cashews
delicious
three helpings of soup
excessive
three or four slices of bread
excessive
high-housemates off to get chocolate
i did the dishes
you will
you must
you will
get to a point
where you will always remember that you have to account
and the shame will stop you
because i am so ashamed
at least
at least, at least
i didn't go out
get chocolate
and purge
because i sure as fuck thought about it
come on come on
come on come on
better harder faster stronger
every goddamn day

nevermind

so there's not much formatting that can be done from my phone but nevermind.

yesterday... latte, giant muffin, latte, ale, mussels in chakalaka and cream with bread, a prawn toast, two spinach and cream cheese dumplings, glass of merlot, green curry with prawns and rice, chocolate springrolls with ice cream. ah a night out with friends and thai food. they stay skinny. i get fat. the usual.

had tomatoes with pesto for breakfast with black coffee. birthday bash tonight at which point i'll probs get so drunk but whatevs bro. just eating and drinking my life away here it seems. i would say i've given up but thats clearly not the case (otherwise why would i be here) i'm surprised i haven't gained more weight actually... guess that's a small blessing. ugh

Yolo

Yolo.
Mandala.

Oh, hi there. So guess who's back, Shady's back, ce-le-brate. Jokes. Maybe not jokes. I don't know. I'm not going to jinx it by getting to hectic over here. Not yet anyway. It's never to late to royally stuff something up now is it. Guess whayyyyyt: I didn't recover. Bwahahaha. Rolls on floor laughing funny-not-funny gahgahgahgah.

Today.

black coffee 

(2 cal)

apple 

(120 cal)

two or three pieces shitty lindt strawberry cheesecake chocolate

(110 cal)

lentil, barley, tomato, cucumber, hummus salad 

(380 cal)

...

((612 calories))

...

imminently about to go to my father's for an epic calorie fest

(oh well)

...

rest of the shitty lindt

bobotie

something called guava fool (dreadful) 

one million cheesebstraws

four blocks dark chocolate

two glasses chenin blanc

=

all the calories in the universe

=

FAIL