... so even with the fear of gaining I, in my wisdom, decided that since i had done no work the whole day, but being thereafter tired and still undesirious of completing said work, that i needed a snack to 'give me energy'. what a fucking 'tard.
so, hmmm what can we call this - you idiot - post supper binge in A minor
unnesscary eating: a pickled onion... followed by a dessert spoon + one tea spoon full (but proper full) of peanut butter...
so then i'm sitting on my bed going 'it's okay you need those calories it's okay, it's okay'... and then suddenly 'I have to purge i have to purge havetopurge right now' and of course being the sick ana-mia-wannabe that i am i went through the kitchen, said 'oh wow dad that shortbread smells amazing (fatsugarlarddisgust) can i have a piece?' (he bakes) which i did, i took the shortbread, lovely fresh baked goods, eating as i walked to the bathroom, close bathroom door, continue eating shortbread while staring at the toilet, chew it all properly, savour it, mmm, don't it taste good......... and then naturally i stuck my fingers down my throat and divested myself of that and other lovely morsels *now that is what they call sick, right?*
well, call it what you like, 'cos i'm a little monster and i can do whatever the fuck i like *grrrrrrr*
but, yip, still deffies feeling paunchy (ie stomach aware) and fat... will she have gained... won't she... who can say *fml* i'm sure the suspense will be over in like an hour (and of course i'm secretly hoping that i'm wrong....... i would love to be 65! *pleasepleaseplease*
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