I'm feeling worn down, torn down, re-established, only to be quenched by a horrible murky flood of emotion. Walking, talking, eating, sleeping - it's insufficient. I want you. I really feel as though I need you. How can i love someone i barely now? How. does it matter as long as i do. the heart is chaos and my mind is order and i don't need either of them to win right now. i feel what i feel. and i want to feel empowered to act on those feelings. i can't act becuase i'm fat. i don't want you to want to resist me. i don't want you to feel like the world is judging you when - if - we kiss. I want you to want me. to be proud of the fantasy of me. they say; don't make someone a priority, when you're only an option. and, yes, i think i'm doing that. i think it's foolish. i think i'm behaving/acting/feeling/thinking/talking like a fool. that's me. i'm just going with it. because, and, you see, here's the thing, i'm not stupid (although i'm probably not smart enough), i'm not ugly (though i'm fat) i'm not boring (but am i interesting?) well, it's all irrelevant. because i want you. and i can't help that.
i weigh 68. but not for long. be strong angel, be strong baby, for the world is dank place full of promises, silently made, sometimes kept *loveloveloveohlove*
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