delicious bone-infused pain

67kgs (well, ever so slightly below... :( not that that helps much)

*fucking exhausted* I weighed myself now (as opposed to just before i go to bed) because... i'm about to blow my supper calories on boozing it up with a friend, god, should i fast this weekend? maybe. i think i should try. i can't slip behind on this 1kg-3day ratio otherwise i'm (obviously) supremely fucked, i'll never make it back... gotta stay ahead of the game! *too tired to even let a cheesy catchphrase make me smile*

when i push my knees together they hurt. that's good. they never used to do that before. *cushioned by lard you understand*

when i rest my elbows on the library table; they hurt. it's fantastic.

when i sit on the brick steps outside our faculty and put my knees up; my ischium hurts. it's beautiful.

Today, i put on my jeans *a size 12 (36) diiiisssgustinggggg* there was a tiny triangular window, just below my *ehem*, through i could see the bed behind me *bliss*

But there's no way i'm getting complacent. i mean: just imagine *deep breaths*
once upon a time *revolting* i was a size 16
then; 14
now... 12
*i love lying in bed strumming my rib cage, letting my fingers play with it's xylophone like ridges and ravines*
imagine: 34"/10
32"/8
30"/6
... i don't even think that is achievable... my hips are just too damn wide... and me? without fat thighs? who would i be? *haha*... but imagine...
28"/4
*just imagine* *imagine* *imagine*

just imagine if i weighed 55kgs. who would i be? *imagine* a better me? a whole new girl? *who could possibly imagine. that's why i need to get there :)*