drunk

im drunk right now, there are two boys i wanted to sms me - neither has - fuck, i hate this, i'm misleading my  friends - and the crazy truth; he's right there, all i want is him, that's all, just you boy, but i dnt deserve you cos im ugly, atrocious and fat

today;
breaksfast: rice cake with pb and a cup of orange juice
lunch; watermelon peices
supper; tuna mayo on 2 rice cakes with tomato, plus like 8 pieces of choacalte *purge* (semi anyway)
plus 2 glasses white wine, one tequila, one double whiskey and water...

im not ugly. but im not hot either, fuck, i just want him to want me, fuck fuck, what a desperate mess, i need thin, i need light between my thighs, then, when they say; go out and get it; i would, i will, but they're just lying to you. you're fat you're ugly and he will never want you, you fat fat fat bitch, please please forgive me; but you are ugly as sin and until you weigh 55kg you are shit in my eyes. the end.