I'm realising that I need to (have to) weigh 52 by the time I go back to school.
If I work hard from now I can.
If I don't make it: I will absolutely freak (I can't handle seeing TBB at a high weight).
I'm starting to get more paranoid that my scale/s are broken (because I feel so, so, so huge).
I'm also realising that:
(a) I have to stop eating sugar (because I just crave it forever-after).
(b) That my bulimia is a serious (for-reals-legit) problem (it's going on 6 months) and I can't expect to just stop but, at the same time, I have to (essentially) JUST STOP.
I've put a ring on my right index finger (to try and remind myself not to take the food or purge the food).
and (c) I have to stop socialising (at least 'til the end of the holiday) because my eating was fine today until I went to a friends house and binged there.
Tomorrow is my last social occasion (I already committed).
Crap. Desperate times.
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