In a state of perpetual fuckuptitude

If only.

I can't seem to sort my shit out.
Today was going okay.
Apple-cinnamon oatmeal for breakfast.
Then a salad (free of all bad things; no cheese, olive oil or the like)
with some soy protein, for lunch.
followed by 30 almonds.
(I tell myself this is good protein... a tad too much but...)
2 low-cal iced coffees
(yes, with sugar, but with minimal fat-free milk and topped up with heaps of water)
... then...
*sigh*
1 rice-cake with peanut-butter and jam.
that was okay.
but an uncalled for snack...
then: wham; three chocolate brownies with milk
*purge*
18 pistachios
and bowl upon bowl of sugary muesli with Nesquik
*purge*
FUCK
WHEN - OH WHEN - WILL I STOP BINGING & PURGING
no more cals tonight
and a punishment fast tomorrow
even though I have school
Intermediate year Law
8 fucking subjects
-
Criminal Law
Criminal Procedure
Civil Procedure
Corporation Law
Contract Law
Law of Succession
Law of Delict
Interpretation of Statutes
&
bloody compulsory community service
FUCK ME *sideways*
-
it's been one week and I'm already completely behind
*what a sad-sack I am*
all this self-pity
it's dreary
fucks sake
get it together woman!
Who's in control here?!
It's your body! Your life!
Goddamn.

Yes.
Yes indeed.