Ashamed

Lagerfeld & MKA
-
It was a bad day.
Like most bad days it started out like a good one.
Strawberries for breakfast.
Shopped: P'butte. Rice-cakes. Gum.
Then she
/skinny friend so skinny your skinniness hurts me
and you just have no appetite
why how do you just have no appetite
goddamnsounfair
and she drinks all the time
fun all the time
sex all the time
chilled all the time
thinthinthin
it hurts/
And I got a latte
and I ate like the whole bag of rice-cakes
and like the whole jar of P'b
and had beer
and downward; a downward spiral
of guilt and jealousy
and sadness and loneliness
and self-disgust
began
and I binged
and purged
and I failed
failed on the first day
how could I
?
-
TOMORROW
a tea and water fast
DO IT.
-
"It's up to you to make everyday as perfect as possible.
It's a question of will and discipline."
-
“I never touch sugar, cheese, bread… 
I only like what I’m allowed to like.
I’m beyond temptation.
There is no weakness.
When I see tons of food in the studio,
for us and for everybody,
for me it’s as if this stuff was made out of plastic.
The idea doesn’t even enter my mind
that a human being could put that into their mouth.
 I’m like the animals in the forest.
They don’t touch what they cannot eat.” 
-
Karl Lagerfeld