'Don't over think it' (he said)

So: I fucked TBB. I know. I can't believe it either.

I went out. Got trashed. Threw caution to the wind and offered myself up to him. Next thing we were sitting by the bar kissing. Forcefully. I just assumed nothing would happen. My friend was spending the night. But when we dropped him at his place he just grabbed me, pushed me up against the car, kissing me hard, popped the button on my pants and started fingering me. I couldn't let it end there. I took him home with me (to my parents house) and just got on top of him and got naked. No hesitation. No condoms. No holding back.

I fucked him, again, yesterday at my brothers house. He's rough. But he's also gentle. All he wants is sex. I know. He told me. Is he even attracted to me? Is he just looking for an easy fuck? Can we still be friends? I don't know.

I just need to not think about it. The sex. Or him. Nothing. No thinking. It's not allowed.