good then bad but

so yesterday was pretty good
kept eating the tomatoes
the pesto
with the olive oil
and the balsamic
had bowl of pasta
with the last of the pesto
had a glass of merlot
another glass of red
single vodka, diet coke
hungry as fuck
the others were getting chicken wings
fatter than me
you're fatter than me
thank god
thaaaaannnk goooood
last of the tomatoes
bites if housemate's pasta
alright though
woke up
an orange
black coffee
pan au chocolat
well that was dumb
left over pasta
stupid
didn't have to say yes
an avocado
it tasted right
so many soaked cashews
delicious
three helpings of soup
excessive
three or four slices of bread
excessive
high-housemates off to get chocolate
i did the dishes
you will
you must
you will
get to a point
where you will always remember that you have to account
and the shame will stop you
because i am so ashamed
at least
at least, at least
i didn't go out
get chocolate
and purge
because i sure as fuck thought about it
come on come on
come on come on
better harder faster stronger
every goddamn day