the beautiful people

MmmmmMiley
What a stomach.
I tell you.
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Bulimia is the lamest thing.
Lame like a one-legged duck.
Did you know that, as per the DSMwhat's'it,
bulimics - in order to be classified as such -
have to be of normal or overweight.
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Well, no fucking wonder,
thanks for telling me this...
I mean it's not like by resorting to 'mia
I haven't fucking lost
just maintained
for a goddamn year
but now i'm, erh, addicted (?) to purging
really.
i purge everyday
there's maybe three days in every month that i don't
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and it's an ineffective goddamn strategy!!!!
I need to loose 10 fucking kilograms
must restrict
must
i must learn how to again
fuck it
i'm going to have to start coming on here and recording again
it's so boring
and a hassle
but it may be the only way
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fucking bulimia
fucking bullshit
fuck fuck
muttermuttermutter
you know why i'm so pissed
ate crackers and cream cheese and cake and pizza and chocolate brownies for breakfast
and tried to yack it all up
and it didn't really work
and i'v got social events coming out the wazoo
which makes it so much harder to have self control
cos' i'm fekking useless
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eating disorders are pathetic
we sit around all day
and tell ourselves we accomplished something
because we didn't eat
even though we probably ate or drank something
and then we reasoned it out
oh, because 'rationality' is allowed when you can't handle being mean to yourself anymore
becaue you got tired , got lazy
because it's so hard, wub wub, to not get off your bed
and not go to the fridge
and not chew something
fucking lazy selfish pathetic pseudo diseased privileged fucking
ungrateful fucking wankers
and i'm one of you
oh lucky us
fuck sakes.