Thursday, May 5, 2011

i am afraid. so very afraid.

Now is not the time to put my self-worth through the shredder. But exams *exxxxxxxxaaamminatioooonnnss* are just around the corner. I'm studying post-graduate LLB. Now, while others may frolick in the pastures of statute, precedent etc. I am fucked. Like proper fucked. Like this degree is bending me over and preparing to take me roughly. And not in a sexy way. Oh god. So so fucked. Going to fail. Going to be a dissapointment. Going to have L all over my forehead. shitshitballscatastrophe. *weeps & flails*

must have control. must not be fat. must go get naked and weigh self right now.

euw - just over 65 - euw REPULSIVE DISGUSTING FAILURE

Right. must stop feeling sorry for myself. tomorrow i am recording my intake here. because being fat depresses me, and if i'm depressed i'm going to spend all the time I should be studying; crying. and that is just. no. damn. good.

*oh. and it's confirmed. she - friend- has/had a crush on him *him*. which means i was right. which means he is off limits. goddamn him. thinking about either of them just pisses me off.*


Pocahontas
*what a babe*
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1 comment:

  1. zetteMay 5, 2011 at 9:38 AM

    boo for him being off limits. when i was a kid i wanted a tattoo on my arm to match hers. i hope it'll help to post your intake. for me it helps to just write it in a journal every day. just helps to hold myself accountable without having anyone else know what a fat fuck i am. i hope your exams go well. maybe you ought to set aside time to ake a hot shower with good music. just something that helps me relax when i flip out. ohgeez. this comment is all over the place. sorry. stay strong, little lady.
    xoxo
    zette

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